nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize