If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How naked do you want me to be?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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