I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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