I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize