i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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