I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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