After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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