Texts From Last Night

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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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  (361): Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture?? http://tfl.nu/iimu
  Replies (11) Good night (5524) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

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  (734): Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths? http://tfl.nu/85c1
  Replies (3) Good night (3168) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.

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  (240): Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/4ze6
  Replies (41) Good night (5213) Bad night (3367) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

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  (317): Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina. (614): Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money http://tfl.nu/rx4e
  Replies (27) Good night (6657) Bad night (1282)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

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  (317): i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex http://tfl.nu/eh60
  Replies (16) Good night (5489) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out

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  (610): omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out http://tfl.nu/5zdd
  Replies (44) Good night (1280) Bad night (4846) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255

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  (567): i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255 http://tfl.nu/6ybk
  Replies (11) Good night (3417) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.

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  (603): The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people. http://tfl.nu/gh99
  Replies (9) Good night (1007) Bad night (2359) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.

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  (818): Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in. http://tfl.nu/o2x8
  Replies (9) Good night (1211) Bad night (2254) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

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  (413): she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust http://tfl.nu/ucdh
  Replies (6) Good night (1812) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

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  (612): She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/b3pk
  Replies (18) Good night (845) Bad night (1231)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult

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  (303): doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult http://tfl.nu/oh0e
  Replies (1) Good night (1420) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.

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  (541): I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea. http://tfl.nu/3k5t
  Replies (11) Good night (1044) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.

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  (613): Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee. http://tfl.nu/d96h
  Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  15 is 15

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  (614): He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community. (1-614): 15 is 15 http://tfl.nu/ct2y
  Replies (6) Good night (281) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt

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