His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tonight lets celebrate not being married
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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