Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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