is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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