sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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