im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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