she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
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All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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