my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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