ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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