Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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