went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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