If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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