I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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