PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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