I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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