Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize