i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize