Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize