you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
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my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
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How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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