Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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