got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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