College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize