i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
tell me about the eggs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize