who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am naked and annoyed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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