what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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