sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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