and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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