hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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