I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize