Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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