If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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