My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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