I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize