so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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