and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Text me some of your sweat
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