I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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