I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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