You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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