Umm I'm too high to move.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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