so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize