It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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