I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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