Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize