whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize